Maybe it's just me, but it seems like 2008 was the fastest year in memory. So much happened in the world of entertainment and gaming, and the other areas of life weren't exactly quiet either; all in all, 2008 is going to be a pretty hard act to follow. So what's up in 2009? Folks, I'm no Nostradamus -- I ain't even Negrodamus -- but I think I can handle making a few nerd-style predictions for 2009... some of which may even come true.
1. "Watchmen" will be released, and it will rock. Just as we got an abundance of Ledger-as-Joker costumes this past Halloween, I foresee a ton of herbs dressed like Rorschach this time around. And wouldn’t you know it -- the DVD will probably hit shelves right around Halloween!
2. PlayStation 3 sales will increase, but not dramatically. The price drop we're all hoping for won't happen. The PS3 will begin selling weed on the corner just to put its kids through college.
3. Xbox 360 will once again dominate the market and possibly come to life and dance for you.
4. The Wii will suffer a loss in sales when people start to get sick of Wii Bowling. What else you got, Wii? (I kid, I kid.)
5. The global conversion to HD will go smoothly until late February, when people realize that the set they bought a month ago is now available for half the price. The evening news will be dominated by reports of people's heads exploding all over the country.
6. Facebook and MySpace will be replaced by Spacebook, which will allow you to social-network with beings from beyond the stars. However, in space there will still be shitty bands who want you to buy their EP, and aliens who keep sending you save-the-dates for frat parties even though you graduated five years ago.
7. This one's not a joke: the games of 2009 will be amazing. Come to think of it, the games of 2010 will probably be completely baller as well, since it'll be the turn of the decade and developers will want to just totally go for broke. This will probably apply to movies as well. We are in for a sweet couple of years.
8. The PSP will drop in price yet again, and no one will care. Rich Stambolian will pick one up if they go down to $100.
9. The Nintendo DSi will blow our minds and we will all scramble to get one, causing mass panic and fights like when the Wii dropped. The near-universal rush to obtain a DSi will make the economy all better again.
10. "God of War III" will win Game of the Year.
11. Cavs vs. Lakers at the NBA finals.
12. The trend of retro gaming will swell until it reaches an event horizon, whereupon fans and casual gamers alike will just stop buying new games completely because they can't afford them. Gaming sales freeze at 2009 titles, and centuries from now we'll all still be plugging "Battletoads" into our steam-powered Sega Game Gears.
13. The final episodes of "Battlestar Galactica" will be completely tremendous and the last Cylon will already be on Earth. Dirk Benedict, anyone?
14. "Lost" will still take place on an island, and Sawyer and Hurley will both die this season. [No chance. But if Sawyer does die, it will be an incredibly noble and self-sacrificing death, and it will save Kate's life in some way, and Sawyer's last words to Kate will be "Hell, Freckles. It's the least I could do." --eds.]
15. ComicCon will be the best it's ever been, in both New York and San Diego -- until next year.
16. In 2009, games will finally achieve the same mainstream respectability as movies, television and music. Gaming reviews will be a regular feature of pop culture. The "silent gaming majority," which is a term I just made up, will emerge from underground and become a visible and formidable public-interest group.
17. The guys who work at my neighborhood game store will still be jerks, and will remain virgins.
18. In addition to the plague of Rorschach masks I mentioned earlier, there will also be a ton of ridiculous Wolverine costumes this Halloween, because "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" is gonna rock everyone’s face off. However, no one is going to want to be will.i.am.
19. "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" will be huge, and will deliver exactly the same level of quality as the first "Transformers" movie, so you already know how you feel about it. Megan Fox will continue to not return my phone calls.
20. The Oscars will actually be good again. I'm basing this on the knowledge that Wolverine is hosting, and I give it even odds that Rorschach will show up and shoot him in the chest with a grappling gun.
