We've been burned in the past by a succession of really awful video game movies. There are more than enough games out there that would translate well to the screen, and are popular enough that the films would come with a built-in audience. The past couple years, we've seen a number of movies that could have been interesting, but really didn’t live up to their potential. Here are my pick for the 10 games that are still crying out for a skillful movie adaptation. I also threw in my two cents on casting and directing.
BioShock (2007)
"BioShock," from 2K Games, has a nice mystery element to it. It’s set in a fictional underwater "utopia," and the story has a lot of elements reminiscent of mid-20th-century sci-fi. Pay attention, screenwriters! The plot, which involves genetically engineered human-sea slug symbiotes with cure-all stem cells, is already Hollywood-caliber, though it needs some trimming. Still, imagine seeing the Big Daddies, the game's mutant marine shock troops, onscreen. Holy balls!
Who should direct? Terry Gilliam. Imagine the "BioShock" world handled by Gilliam. Think about how the intricacies of the surroundings would come to life, and how he'd render the plight of the main character, Jack, whose unlovely lot it is to find out he was basically a test tube baby.
Stranglehold (2007)
Now before you go saying anything -- yes, "Stranglehold" is the official sequel to "Hard Boiled," a John Woo movie from 1992. Yes, it imports certain classic Woo elements: a fast-paced story; a lot of elegant, airborne gunplay. Personally, I loved this offering from Midway Games, and really enjoyed the story. After playing the game, I want the actual movie. It just seems like the logical next step.
Who should direct? It could only be Woo. Chow Yun Fat, who voices the protagonist of "Stranglehold," would have to star. Get on it now, John, before Chow gets too old to lift his twin Glocks.
Mass Effect (2007)
These days, any movie that takes place in space and features lots of shooting battles is likely to get a bum rap. Why? Because it's not "Star Wars," and never will be. But "Mass Effect," from Microsoft Game Studios, was a tremendous game with an extremely well-written story, thrilling enough to make you replay this 50-hour action RPG right after you finished it the first time. A series of films, if they retained what made the game so compelling, could have the potential to do really well.
Who should direct? Ridley Scott. A "Mass Effect" movie would bring him back to his glory days of bracing action films in fantastic settings. I picture Tom Jane in the lead role. The guy was an awful Punisher, but I think he can pull it off as Commander Shepard in this space opera.
Grand Theft Auto (1997-present)
In the last few years, Rockstar Games has treated us to some excellent "Grand Theft Auto" installments, all of them steeped in controversy and the bane of parents nationwide. A film version would have to come with its own original story, since the games don't have plots that really lend themselves to narrative. The ideal plot would be minimal and streamlined, and give the filmmakers a clothesline to hang a bunch of awesome chase scenes on. Get CJ, Tommy Vercetti and Niko Bellic in there, and you have the foundation of a real bullet-toothed gangster flick.
Who should direct? Guy Ritchie. This would put him back in top form. You'd need Ray Liotta, the voice of Vercetti; Nas and Gerard Butler would round out the cast. I’d go see it.
Castlevania (1986-present)
If there's any franchise deserving of a decent movie counterpart, it's Konami's "Castlevania." For one thing, it would put an end to the Anne Rice model of the foppish flamboyant vampire. Vampires are freakin’ scary! They are murderers, and they are unstoppable -- as each "Castlevania" game makes clear sooner or later. The protagonists can never kill Drac, but that doesn't stop them from going into nightmare castles to reach the big man and put him down... at least for the time being.
Who should direct? Peter Jackson. The guy has roots in horror, and he's got a few journeyman films under his belt -- I think they were about a lord or some rings or something. Ideally the "Castlevania" movie would star Arnold Schwarzenegger from 1982, but that's not going to happen because we don't have stupid time travel, and also Schwarzenegger has this day job now. Fortunately, Kevin McKidd was badass on the BBC/HBO series "Rome" and would make a great Simon Belmont.
Resistance (2006-2008)
SCE's "Resistance" is a good franchise that will help keep the PS3 afloat for a little bit. I am a huge fan of alternate histories, and the collision of aliens and WWII is inspired. The obvious elevator pitch here is "Saving Private Ryan" meets "Independence Day." We'd need the stellar filmmaking technique of the former, combined with the balls-out over-the-topness of the latter.
Who should direct? Steven Spielberg, of course. He has plenty of experience directing war dramas and science fiction. Plus, he's a known gamer, and has expressed admiration for the "Medal of Honor" sequels. Although he would probably throw Shia LaBeouf in there -- ah well -- I digress.
Metal Gear (1987)
This classic from Konami, one of the most cinematic game experiences ever, deserves the star treatment. Solid Snake is the ultimate soldier, a man constantly put through the wringer and matched against tons of supersoldiers, warriors and machines. His life is a movie; all we need to do is turn on the camera. Let's get it together, people.
Who should direct? Tony Scott. He knows how to handle action and drama, and the "Metal Gear" games have a certain glow that echoes the lighting choices in many of Scott's films. Kurt Russell, who starred as another Snake in "Escape from New York," should take top billing here. I would have given it to David Hayter, the English-language voice of Solid Snake, but he's too baby-faced. (Sorry, Dave, but you need to crag it up. Spend a few hard nights at the pub or something.)
Maniac Mansion (1987)
A great old-school NES game from Lucasfilm Games, which is now LucasArts. I'm pretty surprised "Mansion" never got the Hollywood treatment, given the teen-horror boom of the late '90s. The game follows a group of college kids who have to rescue a friend from a mansion littered with puzzles and mysteries, and possibly inhabited by an eccentric family irradiated by meteors. Think about how awesome this movie would be, if done right.
Who should direct? Guillermo del Toro, of "Hellboy" and "Pan's Labyrinth" renown. He has the chops and the visual flair to make a memorable horror film.
Half-Life (1998-present)
"Half-Life," which features soldiers, rockets and giant tentacle creatures, is dying to be made into a movie. The budget would have to be huge, and the leading man, Gordon Freeman, would be a laconic nerd with a crowbar. How could it go wrong?
Who should direct? David Fincher, of "Se7en" and "Fight Club," is the man for this job. His style, late 20th-century hyper-grime, has something in common with the aesthetics and pacing of "Half-Life." Under his watch, the aliens and sets would pop with life. Sean Bean, who's already proven his allegiance to the genre in "Silent Hill," should take the Freeman role. Very little dialogue to memorize, Sean. Think about it.
Nintendo: The Movie
Okay, kind of an unconventional thing here: Nintendo's entire set of intellectual property should star in a movie, and Pixar should animate it. You know I'm right. It doesn't even matter what the plot is. Just get everybody together in the same frame. Shit would get crazy.
Who should direct? I mean obviously, Mario. He's been wanting to get on the other side of the camera for a while now.
